


And baby makes three

by galaxyeyedrops



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyeyedrops/pseuds/galaxyeyedrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember the pregnancy meme that went around a month ago? (This should tell you exactly how quality this fic is).</p>
            </blockquote>





	And baby makes three

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually asa's idea. Also super unedited because, idk, I'm super lazy.

If there were three things Vector knew, learned through his life as a Barian, it was that:

A. Nasch was the most insufferable, the most irritating, the most annoying being in existence.

B. Nasch just so happened to not be in existence anymore. (Whoops.)

C. Yuma Tsukumo was a fucking idiot.

 

A and B were taken care of (Jack falls down, loses his crown, dies in a hole, etc) and Yuma Tsukumo, well, was a work in progress. Like yeah, Vector could have dealt with Yuma Tsukumo a long time ago (greeted him as Rei Shingetsu then killed him where he stood, smothered him with a pillow in the middle of the night, spiced his lunch with a bit of poison, the possibilities were endless) but seriously, where was the fun in that?

If Yuma Tsukumo and his nauseating little posse could defeat him in a duel, almost finish him with the power of their _friendship_ , wasn’t it proper that Vector get them back the same way?

Not that playing Rei Shingetsu wasn’t rewarding by itself, because it _was_.

There's a delicacy to playing the role of a useless crybaby, a certain way to pitch his voice, a certain way to carry himself, little gestures that add up and up and up until Yuma’s feeling sorry for the guy who dragged him through a rosebush.

There’s something beautiful about every tear he sheds, salty meaningless drops of liquid, that mean something to Yuma who tries to be _oh so comforting_ , brushing them away with gentle hands and gentler words while under the skin of Shingetsu, Vector laughs.

There’s fun in that charade and there’s fun in making up an entirely different one. A Barian’s Guardian is nothing but a joke, a romantic idea that Yuma (and probably Mizael if he ever heard of it) is infatuated with. An idea Yuma is stupid enough to believe.

In a way, he’s like any other thirteen year old boy. He wants to trust, believe that there are people by his side, because there are things he doesn’t know, things he’ll never understand and they make him uncomfortable.

Which brings him to today.

 

He’s called out Yuma bright and early (well, early at least. The sun wasn’t supposed to rise for another hour or so.) and boy, _does he_ have news for him.

"Yuma-kun" he says, layering his voice with uncertainty. "There's something I need to tell you. Something really important."

Vector lets his eyes drift down, bites his lip, and slowly counts down from ten.

There's a hand on his shoulder before he gets to eight, and Yuma smiles at him, reassuring and so so _sickening_. "I'm here, Shingetsu."

There it was. His cue.

"The thing is, the thing is..." Vector allows his breath to hitch, the effect one hundred percent Shingetsu. "I'm _pregnant_."

And now for the clincher. "It's yours."

The moment he says this, Vector knows how this'll go. Yuma will panic, it'll be hilarious, in the end he'll pipe in with a "I apologize Officer Yuma. I didn't know humans worked like that." or a "I'm so sorry, Yuma-kun!" and he'll be back to merrily plotting Yuma's downfall.

And he can see it happening already. There's a gobsmacked look on Yuma's face, tears in his eyes, and Vector's ready to break character and cackle when he feels warm arms around him, holding him tight.

“Really?” Yuma asks, eyes shining, and Vector as Shingetsu, as the Barian’s Guardian, can only nod and smile as things start to go horribly horribly wrong.

 

“Kotori,” Yuma says in the middle of math, chewing on the end of his pencil. “What do you think’s better? Red or orange?"

“What’s it for?”

Yuma grabs Shingetsu, an arm around his shoulder, and cheerfully explains. “Me and Shingetsu are going to have a baby! I was thinking about red or orange cause they’re like flame colors, right? You know, so the baby’s room can be burning with passion and kattobingu and stuff from the beginning!”

Kotori’s face turns pale, then progressively gets redder with every word Yuma speaks. “Wait, you two _slept together_?” The last two words come out as squeak, inaudible to anyone beside them.

“Well _yeah_ , Shingetsu’s spent the night at my place plenty!”

Kotori’s lips move, no doubt with something insightful, but then the bell rings and Yuma’s dragging him out of the classroom, through the halls, only slowing down when Vector mentions something about _the baby_.

 

Yuma stops at the roof, waving to his friend a few feet away. “Shaaark! Guess what, guess what?”

Ryoga Kamishiro turns to look at them, leans back against the railing and crosses his arms. “Is it the Barians? Did you get a lead?”

Yuma shakes his head and grins. “Nope! But I've got better news! I’m going to be a father!”

Now, for one reason or another, Vector’s never really liked Ryoga. So he takes the situation by the reigns the moment that utterly crestfallen look shows up, brightening immediately (and putting several commercially available light bulbs to shame).

“I’m sure you’ll be a great one, Yuma-kun!” He grabs Yuma’s hand, making sure to get Ryoga’s reaction out of the corner of his eye. “Maybe we’ll even get married!”

He continues holding onto Yuma’s hand throughout the exchange, through Yuma’s grand (and rather detailed) plans, and after Ryoga has given them his (admittedly awkward) blessings, he drags them to the nearest boy’s bathroom, stopping any questions from Astral before they can start.

Irritation surfaces as he locks the stall door shut and turns to Yuma.

“We aren’t naming the baby Kattobingu, Officer.”

 

(Yuma calls seven times that night about ring shopping, four times about whether to do it at a shrine or chapel, and nine times to know ‘if the baby was kicking yet’. Vector decides he wants a divorce.)

(He also decides that he should probably end the whole Rei Shingetsu thing ASAP.)

 

Bonus:

Yuma wakes up to the sound of retching. Rubbing the sleep out his eyes, he sluggishly walks over to the bathroom of III’s and his shared college dorm. Vector is sitting on the floor, his new leather jacket missing. He’s breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating, but there’s something between a smile and smirk on his face. With a hand, he motions Yuma to sit next to him.

Yuma does and out of the corner of his eye, he spots a thin piece of white plastic in the trash can, two lines running down the readout screen. Belatedly, he realizes that no one had actually told Astral that Vector wasn’t capable of carrying a child before he used the Numeron Code to revive their dead.

“Congratulations, Yuma-kun! You’re a father.” Vector’s voice is singsong but his face quickly shifts from gleeful to green as he turns back to the toilet to vomit again.

 

Bonus 2:

Haruto sits down on the couch, his eyes wide and curious.

Kaito pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs, and starts to explain. “You see, Haruto, when a duelist and a duelist love each other very much...”


End file.
